I give my final presentation of my senior speech today. I passed my in-class presentation with a high A, so I'm not as worried as I thought I would be. Wish me luck!!!!
I'm about to go change into my nice clothes.. woo!

"Before you plant the seeds, make sure you can tend the flowers."




So, this, I feel, scares a lot of people when I talk about it, but it's not like I'm an immature idiot that is just gonna go get knocked up someday soon without any form of financial security, but it is a known fact by me, that I have decided that I WANT TO BE A MOTHER SOMEDAY. I just do. It's in my nature. I love babies, I love the beauty of childbirth (although it still scares the CRAP outta me!!)and I even start to tear up watching anything that has to do with hearing your baby's heart beat for the first time, seeing your baby's smile for the first time, etc. I know I will be a good mother, a compassionate, sensitive one that knows how to comfort my child because I know what it's like to grow up almost alone. I know what it's like to cry and feel abandoned, and be told to toughen up. HA. All this will make me an amazing mother, because I have the choice to be different.
So, in my Family Health class, we were watching a documentary about the developing fetus week by week, etc. AND I was actually very interested in it because it fascinates me. It fascinates me that undeveloped girl babies have all the eggs that they will have in their lifetime IN THEIR OVARIES before they are born, that fetuses have all their organs by the first few weeks/months, that fetuses have fingernails, little underdeveloped eyeballs, and personalities before they even leave the womb. All these preppy girls were getting all grossed out and talking through the whole video, and I know they will be the accidental mothers that have no compassion for their children, who don't put their life on hold or teach their kids life lessons, but will make thier kids just tag-alongs.
They were getting grossed out at the fact that some fetuses will taste and swallow the amniotic fluid in a womb, but the funny fact is, they did the same thing when they were a fetus.
WOW. Well, thats pretty much it though. I love the symbolism of White Tara, and my art teacher once compared me to her, and that was a huge compliment to me.
Do some research on White Tara, the great Mother, the compassionate goddess of healing and love.
I've just been thinking about motherhood. a lot. I think it's good for me to think about. Not considering, just thinking.

Wait 5 minutes! Jeez o Pete!! One second it's snowing, the next it's sunshine, the next its raining or hailing, you could have all the seasonal weather in one day!!!
I didn't go to school today because I got up late. I'm hungry. I've been reading this crazy book, about a chick who thinks she's fat, a lesbian, and a chick with one boob. Don't ask. It's crazy. It must be good though, cause I'm still reading it. I've had it for like, 2-3 days and already I am half way done.
I wanna do something tonight, it's Friday, man!! I wanna have fun.
I can't stand being cooped up in this house.
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yay!!! I finally did it! I purchased a new Samsung L200. It has 10.2 Mega Pixels and a 5x zoom. It makes me happy. Especially because it charges, so i dont have to pay out the ass for batteries. And it takes faster, better, bigger pictures of course!! Woo hoo! I'm happy.

I went on a lovely photography adventure yesterday with the lovely miss Tasha, and I will submit my photos laters... but I freakin sprained my ankle and it suckssss...
I'm getting my medicine today, and hopefully crutches, and I'll be able to go back to school tomorrow or the next day.
I feel so lame, I was like walking on it for a couple hours........... trying to be a man about it... but I had to go to the freakin ER... cause I actually looked at it and it was all blarghlardealwkfjsadf ewltjfl looking.
I'm gonna go lay down now because I'm GAY. <3